Card reading for 5/28/19. Do you trust happiness? Does contentment (10 of Pentacles) scare you? I admit this is a deeply rooted issue within me, stemming from a childhood of constantly moving around. As soon as I started to feel happy and settled somewhere....Bam! It was time to move. This went on til my early 20s. No roots for me. No deep connections, though, I wanted them so badly. I felt lonely most of my life and craved connection and inner peace more than anything actually. It's grown into issues of worthiness and guilt, as though, maybe I just don't deserve to be happy in this life? I handle crisis like a champ, but give me happiness and peace and my insides start churning. 'How's this going to be taken from me?' I wonder. I buzz around like a bee preparing for (what feels like) inevitable disaster and loss. I've been feeling that churning in my stomach and the buzzing about in my mind a LOT lately. Why? Because for the first time in a very long time, I'M HAPPY. And..well, I'm terrified. I knew from very early on, the way I grew up was not right. And I've known for the last several years it is my karma to heal these negative patterns within myself and balance (Justice) out my skewed beliefs in this lifetime. Lately, I've been so happy, (it even feels weird to say!) and I am fighting serious guilt because of it. I find my inner critic speaking up, telling me I'm goofing off too much or indulging too much, that I am not worthy of this happiness without hustle or hard work or sacrifice of some kind. But the thing is, I've DONE a lot of hustle and hard work and sacrifice! Regardless of that, I deserve to be happy! I am worthy of happiness because I AM. And I'm finding myself saying these words each day. And with each day comes a little more trust in it. With more trust, my spirit opens to new and infinite possibilities for my life (3 of Wands.) I share my personal read on these cards because I know many can relate when it comes to feelings of worthiness. YOU are WORTHY of a good and happy life. Your real work in this life is to break the negative patterns and beliefs that keep you from it. And you must do it every day. Like an exercise. The same way you learned it, you must unlearn it. And then do this til you start believing it. Then do it every day for the rest of your life. I am worthy of happiness. YOU are worthy of happiness. Say it with me.
Namaste 💜🙏💜
